thanks for reading and commenting and don’t be a stranger,
xx wednesday

Alexandra,
You are living proof that women with stepkids suffer much higher rates of depression than women without, but it sounds like you are moving in the direction of self-care and taking care not to get too overwhelmed.

Hope you will both be back soon. Thanks for reading and for commenting.
xx wednesday

I am first learning to say no. To do things for others when it gives me pleasure to do so and not resentment. If not, I either don’t do it or delegate it to someone who will actually be happy to do it.

I have also decided to take at least 1 evening every two weeks for myself and get away. If no girlfriends are available, I’ll go to the movies by myself or to supper by myself but I want to get away from the routine and taking care of everyone at least one night every once in a while and let my dear man take care of the kids for once while I take care of myself.

Nobody else will take care of me as well as I can

Hi! What a great post! I am new to self-care. Recently, I’ve stopped putting my life on pause when the steps arrive. I continue my life as it was when they aren’t with us. I run, cook things that I like (imagine!), go out with my friends, visit my sister and even (shocking!!!) take weekends to visit my Mom. I take the time they are with us as ‘my’ time. It has made me much happier.

I also delegate the chores. There is no reason why I should have to do all the housework a well as hold two jobs working 60+ hours a week.

I am a work in progress….

1. I too love gossip rags Rene! The Star is a fixation and it’s always nice for me to have a totally selfish moment with that mag. I have been known to tell my husband to STOP TALKING TO ME because I’m reading Star!
2. Baking cookies. I’m not much for cooking but I’m all for baking. Chocolate chip cookies, preferably. I don’t know why that calms me and makes me happy but it does.
3. Going to the movies with my husband or a friend.
4. A glass of Montepulciano. Once in a while!
5. Just walking around the block. Like Rene I work from home and can get away with it. It resets my angst meter.
6. Meditation. I have been recommending it for ages for women in stressful step situations and often they think I’m joking. But it can truly help.
7. Exercise. Not because I like it while I’m doing it–I don’t. But because I like the way I feel after.
8. Going to Barney’s. And buying something that’s less than $250. It’s a nice splurge, but I don’t have to feel too guilty about the price point if it’s only once in a while! Spending more would make me feel awful unless it was a real necessity. And the whole point is getting something that’s NOT a necessity!
9. Getting a blowout. Afterwards I look and feel a million times better.
10. Lunch with a friend. Just do it!!
xx wednesday

And. I. Can. Not. Wait.

After I fell awake (going on six years of awakeness!) I realized that I had to love me first and be totally rock solid in who I was so that I didn’t have to look at others to validate me or define my self-worth. I’m on the journey of a life time to become a better me – that’s an inward journey, not an outward journey (although trips to exotic places are always FUN!)

This year, I will see the realization of two long term personal goals – I’ll have my 500 hour level certification as a yoga teacher and in November, I’ll be testing for my first degree black belt in Thai Kickboxing. I have a vibrant life outside of being a stepmom – it’s not an over arching defining role in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my stepkids – but because I take care of me and fill my own pitcher, there’s more of me to go around. Make sense?

Day to day self-care includes time on my yoga mat EVERY day, thai kicboxing class 2-3 times a week, running (or what resembles running) on the treadmill 2-3 times a week, writing, crocheting, photography, writing, reading, more writing, eating healthy, and an approach to life that comes from love and not fear.

xo
Peggy