Wednesday Martin

Hope you will check out my most recent article for psychologytoday.com on partnership, love, and lust. What role do secrets and novel experiences play in keeping marriages alive?

Tell me about it: Do you keep secrets from your husband or partner? Your comments will be kept secret, as always…

Hope you will check out the June issue of StepMom magazine. Yes, you’ll have to subscribe–but it’s worth it! This month’s articles include one by me on how remarried with kids fight–everything you need to know about “conflict by proxy”. That’s when you have your husband or partner’s feelings for him, or fight his battles for him.

Also look for helpful articles by Mary Kelly Williams (on money!), Jacque Fletcher, and many more.

TELL ME ABOUT IT: How did your last fight with your husband or partner go? Was it productive?

I asked Kermyt G. Anderson, an evolutionary biologist and anthropologist, to weigh in on the topic of delayed childbearing. You know, older mothers! He makes the interesting point that in stepfamilies, we’re often pushing our reproductive careers to the max, since we might be repartnering a little later in life post-divorce (or breakup), and then wanting to have a child or a family.

Sound familiar?

Check out KG’s guest post on my psychologytoday.com blog. You might check out his wonderful new book, too: Fatherhood: Evolution and Human Paternal Behavior

Do you watch Glee? Are you obsessed? Even if the answer is no and no, please check out my new article on Psychology Today about Glee and the “blended family” paradigm…

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201005/glee-and-american-families-were-not-the-brady-bunch

If you’ve been on my blog before you know that I am a celebrity/popular culture junkie. Since November, I’ve been following the Sandra Bullock saga (who hasn’t?) and writing about it here, on Psychology Today and The Huffington Post. So, Sandra’s now a mother and an ex-stepmother-to-be. What does it matter? Hope you’ll check out my latest article on Psychology Today–and leave a comment!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201004/what-the-sandra-bullock-saga-can-teach-us-about-stepmotherhood

Are you following the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James breakup story? Have a look at my latest piece for psychologytoday.com–and please leave a comment!

I’ll be on the Stepmom Magazine facebook fan page today, participating in their expert panel. You ask the question, we answer. I”ll be on from 11 am to 11:45, and back on from 3 pm to 6 pm:

http://www.stepmommag.com/

Hope to “see” you there!
xx wednesday

As a follow-up to Kela Price’s recent guest post about how to find a therapist to help you and your remarriage/partnership with stepkids, a couple of other things that might interest you as we wend our way toward Top Stepmother Concern #3 in the next few days.

First, a psychologytoday.com post by Mary Kelly Williams, on a marital therapist’s thoughts about “The Marriage Ref”:
www.psychologytoday.com/

And now, a few of my favorite shrinks…find their links under “resources” on the right hand margin of my blog:
-The National Stepfamily Resource Center lists therapists with stepfamily training and experience
-Jacque Fletcher, author of Becoming a Stepmom, offers coaching for stepmothers and couples in remarriage or repartnership with children
-Mary Kelly-Williams is a family and individual therapist who also happens to be an ex-wife and stepmother. She runs a Stepmonster support group in Boulder, CO but also does phone coaching
-Kela Price, certified stepfamily counselor and co-founder of Today’s Modern Family (formerly blendedfamilysoapopera.com does phone coaching
-Susan Swanson of The Stepfamily Center in Los Angeles, is tremendous resource for those of you in LA and surrounding areas. She has a radio show as well
-Joan Sarin of Stepfamily Solutions has a track record of helping stepmothers survive and thrive
-Rachelle Katz is a psychologist in Manhattan who also does phone coaching
-Susan Wisdom, author of Stepcoupling, counsels couples in Portland, OR
-The Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in Manhattan has a number of highly qualified therapists, many of whom know about stepfamily life and dynamics from first-hand experience

If you have personal experience with a therapist you found to be knowledgeable about stepfamily issues and helpful to you, please let me know: email me at wednesday@wednesdaymartin.com

A few days ago I published a piece on psychologytoday.com called “Is Marriage Necessary?” You can also link to it via the post below.

One Boston University study found that nearly 75% of women with stepkids they interviewed would NOT do it over again–would not marry a man with kids, that is. Would you? Tell me about it (and remember your posts here are anonymous!)

Fourteen days until Valentine’s Day. What does this holiday mean for those of us in a remarriage or repartnership with children?

Over the next 14 days check in for posts about love, sex, romance, passion, and power in a remarriage with children.

Today you can check out my article for StepMom Magazine: “Get It On–Sex and the Woman with Stepkids.” Yes, you’ll have to subscribe to StepMom Magazine to read it–but it’s well worth it. Look for other articles by Mary Kelly-Williams of www.marriedwithbaggage.com, Susan Wisdom of Stepcoupling fame, the fantastic Jacque Fletcher, the witty La Belle Mere, and more. Have a look:
http://www.stepmommag.com/