Wednesday Martin

The December Issue of Stepmom magazine is here (www.stepmommag.com)! Lots of great reading as you gear up for your winter holiday nervous breakdown–Mary Kelly provides a priceless window onto an ex-wife’s (temporary) divorce regret; the sassy and hilarious Belle Mere remembers her first Christmas with sprogs; Erin Erickson on being a heavy-lifting “single” stepmom whose husband is out of town more often than not; Peggy Nolan on a stepfamily wedding; therapists/authors/experts Jacque Fletcher, Susan Swanson and Susan Wisdom all share their wisdom on topics from holiday survival to Mad Men; party girl Izzy Rose gives tips on how to do it right; I write about avoiding holiday stepmartyr syndrome; and Joel Schwartzberg tells divorced and remarried dads what they owe their partners–that would be US! There’s more where that came from. Believe it. Buy it. Read it.

November 16th is National Stepfamily Day. And women with stepchildren are the lynchpin of the stepfamily system–research tells us that stepmother is the most challenged and stressed stepfamily member with the most complicated adjustment process.

Would you like to see stepmother reality acknowledged and considered on National Stepfamily Day? Use the button on my homepage, here on my blog, or on my Facebook Fan Page to contact Oprah producers. Let them know you’d like to see a show about women with stepchildren. You can mention my name and Stepmonster if the book helped you, as well as the names of other stepfamily authors including Izzy Rose (The Package Deal) and Jennifer Newcomb Marine (No One’s the Bitch) as well as Brenda Ockun, publisher of Stepmom Magazine. You can cut and past the message below:

Dear Oprah / O-Producer:

As a fan of your show and a woman with stepchildren/divorced mother, I would love to see an Oprah episode on new American families. According to official estimates, by 2010 there will be more stepfamilies in the US than any other type of family!

You recently did a great show on the truth about motherhood. What about the truth about stepmotherhood, and about relationships between wives and ex-wives? American families–especially stepmothers and divorced mothers whose husbands have remarried–face so many challenges.

Please address our reality on a show soon, and consider featuring stepfamily/new family experts and authors:

Wednesday Martin, PH. D, author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do; Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom; Jennifer and Carol Marine, authors of No One’s the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for the Mother and Stepmother Relationship; Brenda Ockun, founder and publisher of StepMom Magazine: A monthly, on-line publication and the only magazine exclusively for stepmoms.

Thank you.

My stepdaughter would deem the title of this post totally random. And it sort of is. But there is a deeper logic, sort of: these are the ladies and places I want to call to your attention–and thank.

Hey Childless Stepmoms Chat (www.csmchat.com), thank you for calling Stepmonster “our readers’ new favorite book.” That’s nice! This website is doing something so important: providing a forum for women with stepchildren and no kids of their own. It can be a tough spot, and at Childless Stepmoms Chat, these women can sound off and find support. So check it out.

Izzy Rose’s website, www.stepmothersmilk.com, is outrageous and sassy, yet supportive and stabilizing, like your favorite plunge bra. She wrote a kind and flattering review of Stepmonster. But being Izzy, she made it very funny, proclaiming that Stepmonster aided and abetted the following transformation: “I went from ‘I suck’ to I’m totally normal!” She suggests that every stepmother needs Stepmonster on her nightstand (I want to know what’s on and in Izzy’s nightstand. She is, after all, the type of woman my grandmother referred to as “a pistol”; I’m thinking there would be some cool stuff in there). She also called me smart and so on. But really I just want to share lipstick with her and have a look at her shoe collection. When you read her book, The Package Deal: My (not so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom, you’ll know why. I’m going to review it in a couple of days, because two can play THIS little game, Ms. Rose! Stay tuned.

And last but not in any way, shape, or form least, Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine are saying that No One’s the Bitch. And that’s saying a lot, since they’re talking about each other, and one of them is The Ex and the other one is The New Wife. With two teen girls in the shared custody picture. Woah there, nellies. How did they do it? And should you try? I will have a LOT to say about this book, starting with the brilliant title, and Jennifer and Carol’s remarkable and inspiring achievement, in the days to come. Meanwhile, you can join them at www.noonesthebitch.com (jeez, I have title envy just typing it…)