Wednesday Martin

Jacque Fletcher, author of the important and supremely helpful book Becoming a Stepmom and www.becomingastepmom.com, invited me to discuss “Stepmartyr Syndrome” with her several weeks ago for her terrific weekly podcast series. Here’s the show. Have a listen and then tell me about it: Have you ever done so much for your husband’s kids or your husband and his kids that you started to resent it? What were you doing? How did you change it. Are YOU a stepmartyr?

Did you ever confide in your best girlfriend about some aspect of stepfamily life that was driving you insane–rejecting, rude stepkids come to mind–only to find her looking at you like you were the Wicked Queen from Disney’s Snow White? It really, really hurts when a trusted confidante doesn’t get where you’re coming from–or, even worse, judges you. Jacque Fletcher has taken on the task of writing up just how to be a good and supportive friend to a woman with stepkids. Pass it along to anyone you think needs to know! Also check out the podcast in which Jacque and I dish about what a good girlfriend shouldn’t say to her stepmom pal: “Don’t take it personally!”

How to be a Stepmom’s Friend by Jacque Fletcher:
http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2010/01/05/how-to-be-a-stepmoms-friend/

Stepmom Circles Podcast: Jacque and Wednesday discuss how it makes a stepmom feel to be told “Don’t take it personally” by people who have no clue–and how to overcome the frustration of being misunderstood:
http://www.cyberears.com/index.php/Browse/playaudio/8065

Deborah Harper of PsychJourney offers a wonderful selection of podcasts to her listeners. Her interviews are thoughtful and in-depth, and her range of interests is wide and eclectic (interviews with authors of works of fiction, social history, self-help books, and more). I was fortunate to do an interview with Deborah not long ago about Stepmonster and stepmother reality. Here it is…

http://psychjourney_blogs.typepad.com/lasting_love_and_marriage/

I just listened to Susan Davis Swanson’s interview with parenting author Joe Bruzzese about stepfamily life. Susan, director of The Stepfamily Center in Beverly Hills, had lots of smart observations and helpful suggestions. Among them: stepmothers, feel free to step out for some fresh air, time with friends, and personal rejuvenation when his kids are around; and remember, conflict and struggle are inevitable facts of stepfamily life, not signs that you, your marriage, or your stepfamily are a failure.

You can catch the podcast at www.blogtalk.com