I am now contributing to the Daily Telegraph’s Mother Tongue column, writing on step”family” issues. For starters, can we please stop using a term that not only doesn’t describe steplife accurately, but also makes many of us feel inadequate? Hope you will have a read….and leave a comment.
Posts Tagged ‘stepfamily support’
Did you make any resolutions earlier this month? I hope you will have a look at my latest post for psychology today … and leave a comment!
The October issue of StepMom Magazine is live! In it you will find articles by experts and women with stepchildren who walk the walk. You will find great advice and insight in these pages. This month I write about women with stepchildren and negativity. What is your best “fix” when you find yourself in a negativity spiral? Tell me about it.
As a follow-up to Kela Price’s recent guest post about how to find a therapist to help you and your remarriage/partnership with stepkids, a couple of other things that might interest you as we wend our way toward Top Stepmother Concern #3 in the next few days.
First, a psychologytoday.com post by Mary Kelly Williams, on a marital therapist’s thoughts about “The Marriage Ref”:
And now, a few of my favorite shrinks…find their links under “resources” on the right hand margin of my blog:
-The National Stepfamily Resource Center lists therapists with stepfamily training and experience
-Jacque Fletcher, author of Becoming a Stepmom, offers coaching for stepmothers and couples in remarriage or repartnership with children
-Mary Kelly-Williams is a family and individual therapist who also happens to be an ex-wife and stepmother. She runs a Stepmonster support group in Boulder, CO but also does phone coaching
-Kela Price, certified stepfamily counselor and co-founder of Today’s Modern Family (formerly blendedfamilysoapopera.com does phone coaching
-Susan Swanson of The Stepfamily Center in Los Angeles, is tremendous resource for those of you in LA and surrounding areas. She has a radio show as well
-Joan Sarin of Stepfamily Solutions has a track record of helping stepmothers survive and thrive
-Rachelle Katz is a psychologist in Manhattan who also does phone coaching
-Susan Wisdom, author of Stepcoupling, counsels couples in Portland, OR
-The Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in Manhattan has a number of highly qualified therapists, many of whom know about stepfamily life and dynamics from first-hand experience
If you have personal experience with a therapist you found to be knowledgeable about stepfamily issues and helpful to you, please let me know: email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Please check out my newest piece for the Huffington Post on stepfamilies and the 2010 U.S. Census. Without accurate numbers, there won’t be enough research–or support.
There’s a new cultural pressure in town–to befriend your ex’s wife, or your husband’s ex. As you might know from reading my posts, I feel strongly that any woman married to a guy with kids and an ex should feel free to just say no to this pressure–to focus on her marriage and her own mental health and adjustment, given how depleting and decentering the role of stepmother can be and usually is.
But I have to give it up for my friend Jennifer Newcomb Marine and her co-author –and kids’ stepmother–Carol Marine. Like some of you, they chose to put their energy into engineering an effective parenting coalition, and a friendship. And they wrote a book about it: No One’s the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for the Mother and Stepmother Relationship. They will be talking about it on Tuesday, December 1st on the Dr. Phil Show. Let’s see if he lets them get a word in edgewise…it should be a great show. Tune in…and then leave a comment! Or just let me know here: how would you describe your relationship with your ex’s wife or partner?