Posts Tagged ‘stepfamily’
Thursday, April 7th, 2011
What women with stepchildren can’t relate to what Pema Chodron writes: “The saddest thing of all is how we cheat ourselves of the present moment.”
Are you angry about the past and anxious about the future?
Many of our stepmothering dilemmas are beyond our control–stressors abound in a repartnership with a man with children. But our responses to stress are, thankfully, something we can take charge of.
What part of your day is given over to ruminating over the past–the way his children and/or ex mistreated you or him, for example–or worrying about what may happen in the future? (What will his daughter’s weekend visit be like this time? What horrible thing will his ex wife do to undermine it? Etc.)? How might choosing to focus on living in the present moment help you and improve your marriage or partnership?
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, pema chodron, remarriage, remarriage with children, step mother, stepchildren, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in book news | 22 Comments »
Monday, April 4th, 2011
How'd she get so happy?
Money is a big, hot topic in a remarriage with children. Plenty of women feel guilty, confused, and resentful about their own financial well-being after they partner with a man with kids. Read all about it–and topics that matter to you by Mary Kelly-Williams, Lisa Bagshaw, Laura Petherbridge, and other writers who walk the walk–in the
April issue of StepMom Magazine. Worth every penny.
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, financial stress, remarriage with children, step mother, stepfamily, stepfamily finances, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in finances, your marriage/partnership | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
Support can make all the difference
A reminder: I am co-conducing a workshop with Dr. Rachelle Katz, author of The Happy Stepmother (no, it’s not an oxymoron!) If you are a woman in parntership with a man with kids of any age; a divorced dad; a couple in a remarriage with children; a mental health professional who wants to learn more about the dynamics of remarriage or repartnership with children–join us this Saturday, April 2, from 10 a.m. to 1 pm.
Details here…hope to see you!
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, Rachelle Katz, remarriage, step mother, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, The Happy Stepmother, wednesday martin, woman with stepchildren, workshop, workshop for remarried couples, workshop for stepmothers
Posted in events, social support and friendship | 1 Comment »
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Doing too much won't win their love
Often, we feel that doing more and trying harder is all it will take to “fix” an unhappy stepfamily situation, or a remarriage with children under strain. In my
latest post for psychologytoday.com, I write about why doing less is a better tactic. Hope you will have a read…and leave a comment.
Tags:blended family, division of household labor, divorce, domestic chores, family, gender script, psychologytoday.com, remarriage, step mother, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in misc, your marriage/partnership | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
Stepmothering is hard work
Coming soon on Psychologytoday.com, Why women with stepkids should stop being unpaid nannies, maids, chefs and drivers right now.
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, remarriage, remarriage with children, step mother, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in book news, your marriage/partnership | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, January 25th, 2011
Amy Chua has it out for permissive parents. So do I!
What happens to kids when parents are permissive and indulgent? Research suggests that they are lower functioning across several measures–socially, emotionally, and academically–and they certainly aren’t much fun to be around. This is a legacy they bring with them into adulthood; many of today’s twenty-somethings, researchers like Ron Taffel note, were raised with so much indiscriminate and unwarranted praise, and so few appropriate boundaries and rules, that they have an inflated sense of their own importance and achievements, and unrealistic expectations not only within their own family system, but also in the world (I am reminded of a nanny candidate with a B.A. but zero full-time nanny experience who told me she “required” an outrageous salary–in cash –”in order to be happy”)
I hope it’s not too confusing that my most recent post was about the Mommy Tiger–and this one is about Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, wherein she asserts that there is a place for strict, authoritarian parenting.
It’s something stepmothers might dream about–parents so firm that stepmom gets to seem fun in comparison. Alas, too often the opposite is the case. Divorced dads are notoriously guilty and permissive parents. Single moms may be so frazzled and busy (or undermining of the child’s relationship with dad and stepmom) that they don’t do their part to raise responsible and considerate children on their end. And so the stepmom with normal expectations looks draconian and wicked compared to “good time Mom” and “Disney Dad.”
Sound familiar? Hope you will read my piece on different parenting styles, and why permissive parenting is for the birds, on psychologytoday.com
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201101/the-taunting-tiger-mom-and-her-lessons
Tags:Amy Chua, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, blended family, divorce, family, remarriage, remarriage with children, step mother, stepchildren, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in parenting practices | 8 Comments »
Monday, December 20th, 2010
Tune in for Stepmom SOS...
On Monday evening Dec 20 at 8 pm EST I’ll be talking to stepmom bloggers Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson LIVE on
their Blog Talk Radio Show (you might hear my children yelling in the background!) Tune in, listen, call in, send in questions….hope to “talk” to you then!
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, holiday stress, remarriage, remarriage with children, stepchild, stepfamily, stepfamily holiday, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in events, podcasts and interviews | No Comments »
Monday, November 29th, 2010
The term “teachable moment” gets thrown around a lot–but what does it actually mean? One of my favorite educators and developmental psychologists, Rebecca Mannis, Ph.D., has a special guest post on my psychologytoday.com blog on holidays and the teachable moment.
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, Rebecca Mannis, remarriage, remarriage with children, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, teachable moment, wednesday martin
Posted in guest bloggers | No Comments »
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010
Women with stepchildren often find holidays stressful. How to cope...
If you’re a woman with stepkids, you might already know the answer. Here’s a piece I wrote for psychologytoday.com on
holidays for women with stepchildren. Hope you will have a read and TELL ME ABOUT IT: how are you and your husband or partner with kids celebrating Thanksgiving? With or without the kids? Together or apart? Your relatives, his, or both? Who’s cooking?
Tags:blended family, divorce, family, holidays for stepfamilies, remarriage, remarriage with children, stepfamilies and holidays, stepfamily, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, wednesday martin
Posted in misc, your marriage/partnership | 9 Comments »
Monday, November 22nd, 2010
Tune in, call in, listen in....
Hope you will tune in to hear me speak with Susan Swanson on her radio show “On Step” today, Monday Sept 22, at 2 pm EST. We’ll discuss YOUR issues and concerns!
Click
here for more info.
Tags:blended family, divorce, divorce with children, family, remarriage, remarriage with children, stepfamily, Stepfamily Center, stepmonster, stepmother, stepmother advice, stepmother support, Susan Swanson, wednesday martin
Posted in podcasts and interviews | No Comments »
