Posts Tagged ‘stepmother advice’

How to say it so he can hear it…talking to your husband about tough topics

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

In my latest piece for psychology today, how to talk so you your husband will listen, and argue in a way that will strengthen your marriage, rather than sink it. Hope you will have a read…and leave a comment!

Stepmothers on Strike: An Essential Read in Gender on Psychologytoday.com

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Doing too much won't win their love


Often, we feel that doing more and trying harder is all it will take to “fix” an unhappy stepfamily situation, or a remarriage with children under strain. In my latest post for psychologytoday.com, I write about why doing less is a better tactic. Hope you will have a read…and leave a comment.

Stepmothers on Strike

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Stepmothering is hard work

Coming soon on Psychologytoday.com, Why women with stepkids should stop being unpaid nannies, maids, chefs and drivers right now.

Stepmonster Workshop in NYC April 2nd

Monday, February 14th, 2011

I will be conducting a workshop with Rachelle Katz in New York City on April 2nd. You and your partner are welcome to attend! Whether your stepkids are four or 45, we will cover the issues that matter to you. Hope to see you there!
click here for more information and to register:
http://www.thehappystepmother.com/resources.html

Dell v. Lakshmi: What’s the Difference between Fathering a Child and Being a Father?

Monday, January 31st, 2011


Hope you will check out my latest post on psychologytoday.com and tell me what you think about paternal rights (as distinct from father’s rights)….

Permissive Parenting Makes Life Hell for Stepmothers–Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

Amy Chua has it out for permissive parents. So do I!


What happens to kids when parents are permissive and indulgent? Research suggests that they are lower functioning across several measures–socially, emotionally, and academically–and they certainly aren’t much fun to be around. This is a legacy they bring with them into adulthood; many of today’s twenty-somethings, researchers like Ron Taffel note, were raised with so much indiscriminate and unwarranted praise, and so few appropriate boundaries and rules, that they have an inflated sense of their own importance and achievements, and unrealistic expectations not only within their own family system, but also in the world (I am reminded of a nanny candidate with a B.A. but zero full-time nanny experience who told me she “required” an outrageous salary–in cash –”in order to be happy”)

I hope it’s not too confusing that my most recent post was about the Mommy Tiger–and this one is about Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, wherein she asserts that there is a place for strict, authoritarian parenting.

It’s something stepmothers might dream about–parents so firm that stepmom gets to seem fun in comparison. Alas, too often the opposite is the case. Divorced dads are notoriously guilty and permissive parents. Single moms may be so frazzled and busy (or undermining of the child’s relationship with dad and stepmom) that they don’t do their part to raise responsible and considerate children on their end. And so the stepmom with normal expectations looks draconian and wicked compared to “good time Mom” and “Disney Dad.”

Sound familiar? Hope you will read my piece on different parenting styles, and why permissive parenting is for the birds, on psychologytoday.com

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201101/the-taunting-tiger-mom-and-her-lessons

“Taming the Mommy Tiger: When His Ex Resents You” in the January Issue of Stepmom Magazine

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Cameron and A-Rod's daughter


Let me get something out front: I love Star Magazine. Oh, and Us. I also love The New Yorker and the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. But I’ve got nothing against lowbrow.

The cases of LeAnn Rimes and Cameron Diaz–one a stepmom, one a woman dating a man with young children–might be spectacularly public, but they’re also universal. Each celeb seems to be incurring the wrath of her man’s ex-wife.

Beyond having been cheated on and dumped, what are the roots of ex-wife resentment? What makes an ex-wife infuriated and irrationally nasty toward the stepmother of her children, even when that woman didn’t break up her marriage? Why does she undermine your relationship with her kids and do everything in her power to make your life hell? Hint: it’s not really about money. I write about where Mommy Tiger is coming from–and what you can do if your husband’s ex has it out for the two of you–in the current, second-year anniversary double edition of Stepmom magazine. You can also read an introduction to the article here, on psychologytoday.com

A Struggling Stepmother’s Holiday Wish List

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

You told me what's on your list


Maybe what you want for the holidays is some understanding! I wrote a piece for StepMom Magazine that is currently on their sample articles page. Have a look…and you may just want to get yourself a subscription to the online magazine as a holiday gift.

Blog Talk Radio Interview with Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson!

Monday, December 20th, 2010

Tune in for Stepmom SOS...


On Monday evening Dec 20 at 8 pm EST I’ll be talking to stepmom bloggers Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson LIVE on their Blog Talk Radio Show (you might hear my children yelling in the background!) Tune in, listen, call in, send in questions….hope to “talk” to you then!

Holidays or Hellidays? How Women with Stepchildren Can Survive the Season

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

Have a good enough holiday!


Hope you will have a look at my latest post on psychologytoday.com….and leave a comment. And tell me about it…what are you doing for the holidays? Any tips for other women with stepchildren?